Feed Young Hollywood

Your one stop blog shop for all things fashion and celebrity gossip related. Our noble mission includes (but is not limited to) encouraging young hot hollywood to EAT SOMETHING. Please. Carbs are good! Carbs are great! Skeletal is not sexy. But if the M-K Olsens and Keira Knightleys of the world won't chow down on a loaf of bread, then at least we can do it for them while we make fun of them. Happy gossiping!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Thanks for the Memories

Okay kiddies, you may need to sit down for this one.

After careful consideration, we here at feedyounghollywood have decided to call it quits.

Not because hollywood has been fed, but mostly because with the new school year getting started and a waning level of interest, we decided that it wasn't worth the time to keep up the blog.

We want to thank all of our loyal readers for coming back every day and leaving witty comments for all to share. We hope that you enjoyed our (occasionally really unecissarily mean and uncalled for) posts and got a chuckle or two out of them. So till we meet again dear readers, happy gossiping and happy blogging!

And most importantly, keep sending nicole richie cheeseburger-filled thoughts. Perhaps one day she will eventally eat one. Or at least lick the bun.

Peace!

-gossipgirl

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

BEHOLD THE SPAWN OF TOMKAT


No, I don't beleive it either. But they sure did buy themselves a cute baby.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Get off that high horse cowboy

I like John Mayer's music. It's a little whiny, it's a little pop, its a little rock, it's a little easy listening. I wouldn't run out and buy the c.d., but i like hearing him on the radio. That said, he is a huge music snob. He "speaks out" and by speaks out, i mean gets really high and goes to interviews, about the music industry and how fake it is and how "uncool ppl" run it and they need to steal the coolness from the cool people and thats all how it runs man. I mean, they call them fingers but i never see them fing. Remember the time I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing. Like that.
Now anyone who speaks out against "fakeness" and especially the "fake music industry" would never go NEAR Jessica Simpson rite? Well, no. He's dating her. Proving once and for all he is full of crap. Because Jessica's body isn't a wonderland, its full of semen from those guys that make Jackass.

Bloggers can be dumb


So pictures of Carmen Electra in this dress are being circulated around the internet and shes being called "ugly" and "frumpy"
...
So men who probably look like Chewbacca's nephew are calling her ugly because shes not covered head to toe in makeup and not dressed like a skank. I'm not a huge Carmen Electra fan (how can i be? she doesn't really DO anything) but I would like to take a minute to stand up and say "MEN HAVE FUCKING UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. LEAVE THE BITCH ALONE AND GET A BACKWAX"
That is all.

Walk like a buuug



Talk like a buuuug
Walk like a buuug my starrrleet.
Do they really like these glasses or are they just following the trend? who decided this was a good trend? Can we kill them now? No one wants to fuck a woman who looks like she's constantly auditioning for a part in "The Fly"

Another exuse to put up a johnny depp pic



This person is an idiot. We obviously love johnny depp and they obviously did not read on word we wrote.
Anonymous said...

don't knock Depp...
i don't care what he reveals or doesn't reveal..he's a panty creamer ...always!!
he's settled and seem to enjoy his family life..all adds to his HOTNESS! Let him be...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

A heartfelt moment from a sarcastic bitch

Hey everyone, my plans for the holiday weekend were ruined so I figured some of you were stuck at home as well. I just wanted to say thanks for reading. We especially love some of the crazy ass comments we have been getting, you guys are hilarious! So have a great labor day and think of Samuel Gompers and Euguene V. Debs as you are getting some labor day weekend ass.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Class All The Way!

Look! Rich people ARE better than us. Yes, I believe that now. Money is all you need to have perfect manners, breeding and looks. I don't know about you guys, but i love having men squeeze my ass in public. Yeah my man can do that, but so can a stranger, garbage men, police men, firemen (they are new yorks heroes right?! cmon, give it a squeeze!) Everyone get in line!

I have to admit, dear feedyounghollywood readers, I had my doubts about our lil' LL ever finding Mr. Right and settling down. Because honestly, most of the time coke whores who proclaim their promiscuity in Vanity Fair articles don't end up with 2.3 kids in the suburbs at the tender age of 20, but that appears to be the route that Linds and her Pink Taco man are taking. Rumor has it that after dating for a whopping 30 days, Harry decided that Lindsay was the woman of his taco dreams and popped the question. Gee, I hope he's not just using Lindsay to promote his pink tacos. Because that would be absolutely atrocious and I would be devastated to find out that someone was playin her ass. Well, after I got off the floor from my fit of laughter, that is.

This Is How Deep John Mayer Can Shove It


In case anyone out there was wondering about his schlong. Oh wait, I have an idea. Hey Jess, maybe you could squeeze a little harder! And then we'll never have to hear about you again. And if you're dead, than Nick Lachey goes away as well, and I won't have to listen to him whine anymore about what's left of him. Now all we need is a plan to get rid of Ashlee, and after she's gone, I'm pretty sure eliminating world hunger and getting rid of land mines in third world countries will alllllll fall into place. Because no Simpson sisters makes the world a happier place, filled with rainbows and sunshine and 99 cent Big Gulps at 7 Eleven.

A Nice Day for a White....


Facial.
Yeah, I said it. Where to start, where to start...ok at the top. Her hair looks like it came out of theres something about mary. Although in this case, it probably came out of a Greek shipping heir. For those who don't get the movie reference, her hair look like it has cum in it. and by cum i mean semen. and by semen i mean there are tons of greek shipping heirs swimming around in her hair. Onto the gloves. What the fuck? really? Quarter gloves with a bow? Why? I loved the 80's but some things should stay in the past...
Her skirt looks like it was ripped and her slip is showing. the unfortunate combination of the length of the skirt and the ankle boots make her calves look like actual baby cows. She might as well have just taped cow fat to her legs and called it a day. Now we do apologize for all this. We know that 2 posts in one day about Skankerella is a bit much for anyone to swallow. But can you blame us? When something that looks like this decides that it also wants to SING, there is a certain amount of blogspace that needs to be dedicated to ripping her to shreds. Is this necessary? Well, yes, for as Willy Loman says in "Death of A Salesman" : Attention must be paid. Congratulations whore, here's your fucking attention. Now please pull your lip over your head and swallow. Not spit.

I thought whores liked to flop


But currently Paris isn't enjoying it that much. No one bought her new CD and that makes me hopeful for the future of America. BUt really what else can we say about her? Skankity skank skank skank, ho-itty ho ho ho. Yeeah. We all got it. We here at feedyounghollywood headquarters are hoping that this is the beginning of the end for Ms. Hilton...end as in no longer popular. Not end as in die...because that would be mean...and we arent mean.
cough::diewalkingstddie:cough cough

Thursday, August 31, 2006

FATASS ALERT: THIS JUST IN


We here at feedyounghollywood have just been informed that Kirstie Alley has exceed her weight loss goal of 60 pounds and is now at the 75 pound mark. Let's hope she looses so much weight that her annoying, preachy ass completely disapears. Kirstie is the female Tom Cruise but without the star power. I think she's best known for her oscar winning role in the unforgettable film, "It takes two" starring the Olsen Twins. Keep losing Kirstie, and remember even if you have enough plastic surgery to make you pretty on the outside, you will never be pretty on the inside.

I ain't no fuckin' fat girrrrl



We all know Gwen Stefani has body image problems. She’s admitted it on numerous occasions, she thinks shes a fat cow and she always will. But bitch looks good with her baby weight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with boobs before. Look they actually stick out from her body instead of being concave! Stars always starve themselves to lose baby weight that looks good on them and it's a mistake. Why shock your body or force it to go against nature? So don’t be so quick to get back on that track fat girl. We like you better this way.

Some sign suggestions for Jessica

"I'm functionally retarded" * I apologize to the mentally handicapped for associating Jessica Simpson with them*
"I is no speaked english much good"
"Where's the buffalo?"
"Why do I pose like a stupid cunt?"

I don't wanna listen to you anymore


Okay Nick, we got it. Jessica is a big whore and we should feel sorry for you, even though as soon as she divorced you, you fucked every whore with big tits you could find. THere is no commandment that says, "Lo, shall the stupid bitch you married with your eyes WIDE open as to her character, cheat on you, you shalt have free range of the land to titty fuck and anally violate as many fine-ass bitches as possible and the realm shalt feel your pain and scorn former said bitch."
No, god never said that. So shut the fuck up. I don't feel bad for you and no one should. You married Jessica so you could fuck her and that was the only way since she promised her creepy ass dad that she would be a virgin until marriage.
I'm not taking jessica's side, I hate her too. But i dont want to listen to Nick sing about what a bitch she was. Maybe he could write a song about all the girls he's fucked since they broke up, he could call it, "Why I have so many STD's my dick fell off, but I can still finger fuck you if you will take what's left of me"

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Johnny Depp's SECRET DOUBLE LIFE


I love Johnny Depp. I do. I love learning new things about him and seeing new pictures of him because seeing a human that beautiful restores my faith in humanity on days when I hear about customers taking dumps in store dressing rooms or when I hear anything that comes out of George Bush's mouth. And lately it seems that there have been a plethora of stories claiming to have an insight into the secret life that Johnny leads. One that is hidden from all, one that contains god knows what. And in order to find out what Johnny does in his secret life, you have to buy that copy of In Touch or Star that you're holding. Or at least hang out by the rack a few more minutes and read the article without paying for the magazine.

However, I am always disappointed. I don't know, maybe all the magazines had a slow week or something and got together and decided to reveal Johnny's life, but I didn't really find his secrets all that crazy. Basically, all the articles went something like this: Johnny Depp doesn't live in Hollywood, like most movie stars. He lives...in FRANCE. In a SMALL TOWN. He has CHILDREN. They have NAMES. And he and their mother AREN'T MARRIED. But they are HAPPY. The end.

I don't know about you, but I already knew all that. And honestly, I don't find any of that all that interesting. Or secret. And there are more important things in life to rant about than Star magazine's Johnny Depp filler articles. So maybe this was just an excuse to post a picture of Johnny Depp. Have a nice day all!

Jon Voight Thinks This Is His Granddaughter:


I know Angelina adopts children more often that most people buy shoes. I can understand why keeping track of them can be confusing. And I know each one of her children has its origins in a different part of the globe. So that's also confusing.

So Papa Angelina wants so make nice with the mother of Brad Pitt's babies. Now he has publicly begged her to get help for her mental problems on Access Hollywood in the past, so I can understand why Mr. Voight might be on Angelina's shitlist. But in an effort to reach out to his daughter, he decided to send Maddox a birthday greeting while walking the red carpet for the BAFTA awards (That would be the crappy British equivalent of the oscars. At the BAFTA's all celebrity gift baskets come with complimentary tubes of crest and dental floss). And he did okay with that. He got Mad's age right and everything. However, he fucked up with Zahara, sending his love to Shakira instead. Although to Papa Angelina's credit, he did realize that he might be mistaken, and asked the reporter who was interviewing him if he kid's name was Shakira or Shahira, to which the reporter responded.......come on, all together now...................ZAHARA. So papa Voight tried again, sent his love to Maddox, took back his love for the 29-year-old Colombian songstress and resent it to the 1 1/2 year old Ethiopian baby, and then after pausing again (to either avoid another mistake or perhaps he really did need a moment to think of his biological granddaughter's name) sent his love to Shiloh Nouvel.

If I were those kids, especially, Z, I wouldn't want grandpa's love. I'd say fuck you grandpa, if you can't tell the difference between me and a latin singer 27 years older than I am then you can keep your goddamn kisses and hugs. Just keep those $20 bills in the birthday cards comin'